I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Tostitos scoops are the best shotglasses ever. Eat it after as a chaser.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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