DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
three words: i give head
three words: not that well
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Randomize
