The beer is more important than you right now.
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Just Everbombed a Guiness to make up for cutting out early last night. Also the Mars probe. Happy birthday motherfucker!
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
