did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
we are cooking lunchables pizzas on a fire pit.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
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