I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
The girl I was Skype sexing just asked for a moment of silence for robin Williams.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Randomize
