I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I just want nice things and good sex
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
