if you like me you must not know who I am
Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Randomize
