my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
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