What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just puked most of my soul out..
Randomize
