he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
but you don't have to sleep on top of four different cum stains because you'd rather buy a case of Franzia than spend $3.50 in the student laundry room
It's official. Hawaii is 100% better when you're stoned.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
What happened to the good old days when we whispered the words beer pong and people came running?
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
