How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
Randomize
