one word: firstdatebathroomanal
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
Bring me that man meat
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
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