when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Thanks for walking over, a conversation about David Bowie's dick as a muppet is exactly what my day was missing.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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