I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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