things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Randomize