she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
The beer is more important than you right now.
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dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I see more hoeing in ur future
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