You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
All I want is to get as high as I did that time I started hallucinating that my brother was becoming a monkey and I saw my mum on every surface of your room.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
