I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
I'm not fucking any of these fools. But if they want to buy me Olive Garden, that's their business.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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