I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
