And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
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