I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize