Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
There's so much mac and cheese stuck to my foot right now
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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