o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize