you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.