when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
i lost my life and panties somewhere between the 15th and 16th round of slap the bag.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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