Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I woke up and finished the bottle like a champ