I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
These 23 People Prove You Don’t Have To Be A 10 To Be Good In Bed
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
21 People That Had The Worst Birthdays Imaginable
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
A 'Bear Fight' is a car bomb followed by a Jaeger bomb. Fuckface and I do those on slow days. Tonight, we did a 'Polar Bear on Fire'. Fireball, a bear fight in the middle, and end with rumple minze.
I made friends at the beach bars tonight. Several were worried for my well being.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.