I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
Things were going really well until his cousin showed up. She told him I look kind of like his mom, which started a ten-minute debate on my and his mother's specific features, and ultimately, who is prettier. Guess who my date picked.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
Randomize
