scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
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I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Note to self don't give these guys your number. I've seen more dick tonight than a proctologist sees his whole career
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
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