I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He IMed me 5 times, before my homepage even loaded. This is not gonna work out for me
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
