Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in the darkest corner of the bar last night, then watched 2 girls freak out in disgust after walking through it. I then realised I puked on the dancefloor, took a picture and proceeded to send it to my mom.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Eating an avocado like an apple while doing shots of fireball and watching finding nemo. I need to get my shit together.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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