Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
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