Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
He called his dick "The Beast" and said he lived "The Beast Life". He was pretty but it was better if he didn't talk.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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