he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
