I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I was randomly pulled aside to have my bag checked. It had 50 condoms in it.
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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