I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
I did way too many drugs this past week for having a broken nose #commitment
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
