Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
