Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
Just peed on the front lawn of the capital building. Great American.
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