i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
We popped the air mattress last night via sex and we just kept going but it feels like I have a bruise on every vertebrae
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
