My phone auto-corrects smirnoff to poisoned. I think it is trying to tell me something.
from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
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