talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
Randomize
