this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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