I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Unless you can cure my hangover with your penis I'm not interested.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Randomize
