We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
Are you coming over for scrambled eggs and hand jobs?
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