I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Being drunk is way better. Seriously, I just licked your brother to make sure my spit was actually real.
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Sitting topless in my room drinking wine from a box... It's good to be back at school
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Randomize
