how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Of course he's seen my tits, I wave those things around like a trump supporter does an American flag
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Randomize