I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
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