Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
We need to stop going on dates to the strip club.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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