nothing cures the holiday blues like an open bar
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
Randomize
