Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
I owe a guy a shoe because I threw it over a fence. That is all.
Why do I even exist?
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Randomize
