I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Call me when you wake up. I wanna start drinking but I'm giving up hope on my life if I drink alone before 10 am
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
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