We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
