You don't have asthma, your pregnant
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
