I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Um...It has come to my attention that I may have said some rather vulgar things about Sean Connery to you and anyone listening last night, so...I apologize for that. I meant the things I said. But still. Sorry.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
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