May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
I woke up in a tutu and topless. How was your night?
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Those nachos came to me in a dream
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
