Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
