we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
currently wearing a football players overly sized underwear. discovered a shot count on my leg. I'm a tank hahahhh
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
Randomize
