I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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