Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
My breasts were aching with rage.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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