Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
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