He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
I was simply suggesting that you really should try coke bondage sex.
Randomize
