So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
his tattoo said carpe diem which i thought was ironic considering his epilepsy
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
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