make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
