My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
Sunday was the 8 month anniversary when you shot me in the face...just an FYI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize